Thanks Gamefly; thanks alot.

Maybe Gamefly hasn’t noticed, but adults who play video games already have to deal with enough crap without their incredibly stupid commercials. Grown men screaming, throwing tantrums and sobbing into the lap of their girlfriend because a game is bad does not help our image, thanks.

Alright. I’m sure nobody has changed their opinions over these commercials, but I find them to be in pretty bad taste. I mean, really, what kind of jerk wrecks a store because he’s only getting $9 for an old game. Dude, have you been to a pawn shop? Have you ever watched Pawn Stars? That’s how it works, especially with transient things like most games. Sure, there are a few classics people will pay top dollar for (Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy VII), but even then, you’re probably not going to get a whole lot.

Just take the store credit. Don’t fool yourself. You’re not going to pay the rent with a stack of old PS3 games.

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Do You Want to See Twisted?

This weekend, I learned Twisted Treeline is nothing like The Fields of Justice.

You would think it would be. There doesn’t seem to be much of a difference. Instead of three lanes for five players, you’ve got two lanes for three players. There are a couple of little altar things. No big deal. Except that it is a huge deal when you find out these things change the rules of engagement entirely.

There is no “lane phase”. There is no time to “farm.” Half of the time, several members of at least one, if not both, teams are dead before the minions even spawn. It is just one big-ass team fight; a constant gank-fest, with people running from lane to lane constantly.

And there are no wards.

hCFF16A9D

Pretty much how I felt playing Twisted Treeline for the first time. Dem Shadow Ilse be a nightmare if you’re unprepared.

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What is a “leash?”

The folks over at Riot have unleashed the new pre-season changes (don’t forget general patch stuff) for League of Legends. There are lots of new items. There are lots of new masteries. There will be lots of impatience and tooth gnashing about over powered champions and items until it all gets worked out.

Get a grip. Bite a stick if you have to. It is always the end of the world until it isn’t.

So, if you need me, I’ll be out on the Field of Justice, dressed as Morgana and wearing  Liandry’s Torment. I hear it really makes Teemo’s mushrooms sting.

Oh, and if I hear one more person bitch about leashes…..

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This fantastic piece of .gif is courtesy of the fine  Disorderly Conduct Tmblr; probably one of the coolest ones out there.

Bullp*ss

I’m promising myself I’m only going to write about cartoons and puppies after this post. That was the agreement. After the election; don’t write about any more serious stuff. Of course, I haven’t written much of anything, really; so what’s the difference? The difference is I can’t help myself when it comes to Bullp*ss that I see. I have to say something. Spam Bots love this crap.

That doesn’t make any sense, does it?

Neither do these things:

The Fiscal Cliff

Well, here we are, 27 days after the election, and everything I’m hearing about the “fiscal cliff” sounds exactly like what I’ve been listening to over the past 4 years. I’m not even going to try and be impartial this time. Note: this does not mean I favor one party over the other, but in the case of these issues, I favor one approach over the other.

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To the Republican Party

Hi. I know we haven’t talked in a while. I think the last time was when I helped elect George W. in 2000. I just noticed you were feeling pretty bad after this last election, and I thought I might say “hello”, and offer you a few words of advice, if you’ll have them.

First, I wanted to say; we need you. I know this sounds weird coming from me, but we do need you. We need some of your ideas. Everybody knows I’m not a huge fan of parties in the first place.  Our problems are bigger than parties, but we both know how hard it is getting people together. I don’t think either party alone is up for the job, and I know two parties divided sure aren’t.

But you’ve got to make some changes.

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His Fathers Must be Proud.

Not all celebrity gay couples are conspicuous. Just the other day, I learned of one couple nobody would have ever known about; that is until their son stepped onto the Fields of Justice. I am, of course, talking about Lord Zedd and Oroku  Saki (The Shredder).

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Gaked

How do you create hype over a “toy” nobody has given a flying feather about for years?  Play an endless stream of commercials where you know very active members of the Internet community will be looking.

Genius.

I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but the usual annoying-ass Christmas commercials for Gak, the weird slime stuff produced by Nickelodeon and NSI International, aired several times during the highly anticipated season premier of a certain cartoon last Saturday. I didn’t notice because I was suffering from a League of Legends induced hangover and went into a coma during commercials, but a lot; and I mean a lot, of other people did.

It would be hard not too, for a conscious person. It is traditional for 3 or more of the various Gak ads to run in a a row. One can only hear a burping voice exclaim “Gak! Gak! Gak!” 800 times per commercial before it gets lodged in your brain like the question of whether or not you turned the burner off after making tea.

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