Here’s your problem.

The other day I received something in my work e-mail from the Vice President’s office about Biden’s meeting with representatives from the video game industry. I read more about it today. I don’t know what they’re hoping to find by going over this again. For that matter, I don’t know what anybody is hoping to do by re-visiting the gun control issue. We’ve been over this a million times. We come to the same conclusion each time. They are a factor, but not necessarily the factor, for why bad things keep happening.

I’m not necessarily against a little more regulation involving guns, or video games. If it is done right (that’s the hard part), I think it could help. However, there are other things out there that need a bit more attention; things that have probably come about because we’ve changed as a society. Things that don’t have such an easy fix. We’ve come a long way from the nuclear family of the 50’s, and we all know that was bunk, but I think maybe we’ve gone a little too far the other way.

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I’m promising myself I’m only going to write about cartoons and puppies after this post. That was the agreement. After the election; don’t write about any more serious stuff. Of course, I haven’t written much of anything, really; so what’s the difference? The difference is I can’t help myself when it comes to Bullp*ss that I see. I have to say something. Spam Bots love this crap.

That doesn’t make any sense, does it?

Neither do these things:

The Fiscal Cliff

Well, here we are, 27 days after the election, and everything I’m hearing about the “fiscal cliff” sounds exactly like what I’ve been listening to over the past 4 years. I’m not even going to try and be impartial this time. Note: this does not mean I favor one party over the other, but in the case of these issues, I favor one approach over the other.

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Summer in Oregon: Gravity Falls

I was drawn to Gravity Falls the moment I heard the eerie music during the show’s creepy title sequence. After watching a few episodes, I knew I was doomed to like the show, and very convinced that its creator, Alex Hirsch (Fish Hooks, Misadventures of Flapjack), had shadowed me and my friends as children as we searched the wilderness for evidence of local legends.

Unlike me and my friends, Dipper and Mabel Pines find them, whether they want to or not. The Pines twins are sent away from home to spend the summer getting some “fresh air” in the wilderness of Oregon a their Great Uncle (grunkle) Stan’s Mystery Shack; one part cheesy sideshow and one part creepy novelty gift store. Amid Fijian mermaids, Jackalopes and “Sascrotch”, they find real creatures and real mystery. With the help of an old journal hinting at the strangeness of Gravity Falls, they deal with lonely forest gnomes, the vengeful spirits of elderly store clerks, and child psychic evangelists. At the same time, the Pines also deal with the usual trials of childhood, such as awkward attempts at summer romance, spending time with weird relatives, and finding a way to tolerate your sibling.

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Ham Bird

A lady came into the store in which I work the other day and bought a flying pig lawn decoration. As she brought it to the counter, I remarked on how it was a very popular item. She then proceeded to tell me it was a “ham bird”, and that it was for her daughter. Her daughter, you see, once said she had become a vegetarian, and didn’t eat meat, only poultry. Apparently she was eating a ham sandwich when she said this.

She thought ham came from birds. Poultry is, of course, still meat.

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230 Million Years of Cool

I can’t think of very many things that have been cool as long as dinosaurs have. Of course, they got a pretty good head start, and they were around a lot longer than the average band or popular television show. Still, I consider it quite a feat for something to captivate human interest for as long as dinosaurs have. Man first discovered their fossilized remains sometime in the early 1900’s, and we’ve been in love with them ever since.

Next time you go out, look for dinosaurs. If there isn’t a dinosaur or something with a dinosaur on it, I’ll bet there is nearby.

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Zombify All the Things

Four mana really isn’t bad for this graveyard reanimation classic. But I digress.

How far are people willing to take any given “thing” in popular culture? Pretty far, it seems; especially if that “thing” is zombies. I don’t know when it happened or what prompted it,  but  zombies have  shambled out of the cult movie clubs and into practically everything.

You probably know that already. You probably already have your Zombie Survival Guide, a stockpile of zombie killing bullets, and after the recent face-eating bullp*ss, you might even be seriously building that survival kit.

If that is the case, you’re probably expecting a lot of down-time in the future. When you’re not trying to survive, that is. You might want to pack some zombie Lego sets in that backpack. Yes, zombie Lego play sets.

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I’ve Found the Problem

I’d like to state this picture has nothing to do with what I am writing about. I was looking for a picture of a chain e-mail, and I couldn’t find anything I wanted to use. I did, however, find this, and since I wasn’t seeing what I originally wanted to use, I figured this was the next best thing.


I have finally figured out why things have turned out the way they have in my life. I’m not going to go into details; lets just say things are okay by some standards, and not so okay by others. I’ve got somewhere to live, a house, work, and a really great dog. On the other hand, I’m not doing much of what people might consider “productive”, or “living”. I figured originally it was some sort of inertia on my part, but after a conversation today, I came to a sudden realization. I never forwarded any of those Grod-damned chain e-mails.

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