She was prepared: So now what?

As about .05% of the spam bots who read my blog know, yesterday’s season 3 finale saw the fulfillment of what a lot of people have been expecting and/or dreading for quite a while; the egghead became a princess, complete with wings and a coronation ceremony.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re not that in that .05%. Go home. Nothing to see here.

If you do know what the hell I’m talking about, or you are simply curious, stay awhile, and listen. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before; analyze an episode of a kid’s show.

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Do You Want to See Twisted?

This weekend, I learned Twisted Treeline is nothing like The Fields of Justice.

You would think it would be. There doesn’t seem to be much of a difference. Instead of three lanes for five players, you’ve got two lanes for three players. There are a couple of little altar things. No big deal. Except that it is a huge deal when you find out these things change the rules of engagement entirely.

There is no “lane phase”. There is no time to “farm.” Half of the time, several members of at least one, if not both, teams are dead before the minions even spawn. It is just one big-ass team fight; a constant gank-fest, with people running from lane to lane constantly.

And there are no wards.

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Pretty much how I felt playing Twisted Treeline for the first time. Dem Shadow Ilse be a nightmare if you’re unprepared.

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What is a “leash?”

The folks over at Riot have unleashed the new pre-season changes (don’t forget general patch stuff) for League of Legends. There are lots of new items. There are lots of new masteries. There will be lots of impatience and tooth gnashing about over powered champions and items until it all gets worked out.

Get a grip. Bite a stick if you have to. It is always the end of the world until it isn’t.

So, if you need me, I’ll be out on the Field of Justice, dressed as Morgana and wearing  Liandry’s Torment. I hear it really makes Teemo’s mushrooms sting.

Oh, and if I hear one more person bitch about leashes…..

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This fantastic piece of .gif is courtesy of the fine  Disorderly Conduct Tmblr; probably one of the coolest ones out there.

Gaked

How do you create hype over a “toy” nobody has given a flying feather about for years?  Play an endless stream of commercials where you know very active members of the Internet community will be looking.

Genius.

I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but the usual annoying-ass Christmas commercials for Gak, the weird slime stuff produced by Nickelodeon and NSI International, aired several times during the highly anticipated season premier of a certain cartoon last Saturday. I didn’t notice because I was suffering from a League of Legends induced hangover and went into a coma during commercials, but a lot; and I mean a lot, of other people did.

It would be hard not too, for a conscious person. It is traditional for 3 or more of the various Gak ads to run in a a row. One can only hear a burping voice exclaim “Gak! Gak! Gak!” 800 times per commercial before it gets lodged in your brain like the question of whether or not you turned the burner off after making tea.

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Toys For Men

Just for kids? Doubtful. I hear the old folks complaining “kids” movies are more for adults these day. Good. I’m glad we adults get to have fun again.

America is still behind the times. I’m not talking about universal health care or acceptance of nudity, either. I’m talking about America’s habit of taking everything fun and giving it to kids. Toys. Cartoons. Games. What is the deal with that?

Don’t get me wrong. We’ve come a long way. But I think we all know there is still quite a disconnect between the growing population of young and middle-aged adults who still like the fun stuff, and the aging population. There are still a lot of people out there who think anybody past their mid-twenties who still watches “kids” movies, thinks super heroes are cool, and plays video games has something wrong with them. A lot of people still don’t consider people interested in these things “grown up”. This doesn’t make much sense to me for a very good reason.

These things weren’t originally meant  for kids, and a lot of them still aren’t exclusively for children.

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Mystery Solved: What I wanted to know about the Romney video.

I don’t understand why everybody is so shocked by this secret Mitt Romney video. Sure, it shows him talking about 40-some-odd percent of voters with disdain. Or was it the 40-some percent of people who don’t pay taxes? I don’t know. I don’t care. It isn’t shocking. It isn’t a surprise. Anybody with any sense knows this is how most wealthy people, especially certain Republican factions, view the common folk. I could be people who don’t pay taxes. It could be everybody else too. They’re all parasitic freeloaders. No surprise there.

What interests me about this video isn’t the content. No. It is the video itself. I want to know where it came from, and why it was shown now.

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The Voters Have Spoken: Next president doesn’t have to be human as long as it solves real problems

The honey badger doesn’t give a sh*t if it is hard, it just wants to get America back on the right track.

This is the message honey badger’s human press secretary “Randall” gave to voters at a conference formally announcing honey badger’s entrance to the 2012 presidential race. That this took place in Ybor City Tampa while the Republican National Convention was going on makes it even better. The announcement even got some decent press coverage.

Imagine my surprise when I found this out thanks to a reader. I guess more people have found my post on honey badger as a presidential candidate after its campaign became a reality.

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