The Voters Have Spoken: Next president doesn’t have to be human as long as it solves real problems

The honey badger doesn’t give a sh*t if it is hard, it just wants to get America back on the right track.

This is the message honey badger’s human press secretary “Randall” gave to voters at a conference formally announcing honey badger’s entrance to the 2012 presidential race. That this took place in Ybor City Tampa while the Republican National Convention was going on makes it even better. The announcement even got some decent press coverage.

Imagine my surprise when I found this out thanks to a reader. I guess more people have found my post on honey badger as a presidential candidate after its campaign became a reality.

Apparently, the honey badger has an actual platform as well. According to Randall, honey badger is focusing its efforts on environmental policy reform.

“Plain and simple; we’re living in a way that’s not sustainable – and we’re talking in terms of both environmental AND economic terms,” Randall wrote on the campaign website. We’re seeing and feeling the effects of that more every day. The old paradigm of economics, environmentalism and personal well being as competing interests is no longer working.”

Sounds like it makes sense. Something else that makes sense, honey badger is tired of politicians who ignore or hide from the tough issues, AKA, the real issues facing America as a whole.

“Now Honey Badger is not whining and crying about what isn’t working – he’s focused on solutions. This starts with a realistic assessment of the situation,” Randall wrote. “The only time Honey Badger sticks his head in the sand is to dig through a whole bunch of bee stings he doesn’t really give a darn about anyway to get to some sweet honey in the end. That’s kind of where we’re at with the world. We’ve got some serious problems – let’s face them square on and we’ll all enjoy sweet honey soon enough. Sure, we may get stung a lil bit but so what – Honey Badger don’t care we got work to do!”

Yeah. I can get behind that.

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