Please Do

 

Can you hear that? That is the sound of Jersey Shore fans mobilizing politically for the first time in their lives. It is a good thing the gyms and tanning salons already have their membership  money, because the sound of skin sizzling and bros grunting are soon to be replaced by the call of crickets as millions of Vinnie Guadagnino (is that even his real name?) fans hit the campaign trail.

What in hell am I talking about? Jersey Shore is about to start its last season, and Vinnie has announced he would like to run for president now that the show is over.

I’ve never watched the show. I’ve been curious, but I’ve never done it. I didn’t want to contribute to the ratings. However, I’m not going to celebrate the canceling of a television show that celebrates gross misbehavior, arrogance and self indulgence. What’s the point? Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is on now. I almost feel bad for the kid and her family. The producers know they’re televising a freak show, but I doubt they told that to the family in it.

Anyways, what I want to do is encourage Mr. Guadagnino to actually run for president. I think it would be neat. The sh*t is a circus already, there might as well be one more performer. None of my candidates will ever run, anyway, mainly because they ain’t real people. Some aren’t even human.

Yes. I want to see if Mr. Guadagnino can maybe wrest New Jersey away from the Republicans or the Democrats. I want to see how many votes a “celebrity” candidate could earn. He already has a built in base that will do anything he says, just like the real candidates. I’m sure if he ran a few television ads, he’d probably pick up a couple million more votes, as long as he used the words “jobs”, and “national debt” (it doesn’t matter what you say about them).  Unlike the rest of the cast of Jersey shore, he even looks like a real person.

So, Vinnie Guadagnino. Please do. I would love to see what happens. Quite frankly, I can’t get much worse. Most of the politicians these days already act like the cast from your show. I’m starting to think perhaps some of the folks on Jersey Shore are actually smarter. At least they know what people really want. Booze, boobs, and punching.

 

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