I’ve Found the Problem

I’d like to state this picture has nothing to do with what I am writing about. I was looking for a picture of a chain e-mail, and I couldn’t find anything I wanted to use. I did, however, find this, and since I wasn’t seeing what I originally wanted to use, I figured this was the next best thing.

Onward.

I have finally figured out why things have turned out the way they have in my life. I’m not going to go into details; lets just say things are okay by some standards, and not so okay by others. I’ve got somewhere to live, a house, work, and a really great dog. On the other hand, I’m not doing much of what people might consider “productive”, or “living”. I figured originally it was some sort of inertia on my part, but after a conversation today, I came to a sudden realization. I never forwarded any of those Grod-damned chain e-mails.

Everything they said would befall me, has! Did they not warn me that if I didn’t e-mail this cute letter about the power of friendship to at least 25 people, I would be alone? Did the letter not clearly state that if I did not pass the letter on to 15 friends, which would prompt Bill Gates to donate $1 for each to some dental hydroplosion charity, I’d have horrible financial problems? I was warned love would scorn me if I didn’t re-send a tale involving the romance of an invalid dwarf couple with only 6 months to live to everybody I knew.

I’ll be going straight to hell, because I never re-mailed the holy hanky I keep getting in the mail.

If there is anything my life up to this point has taught me, is that your own actions are never to blame for your problems, unless that action was to hit the “delete” button. There is always some mysterious force out there loading the die. Why take chances? Use me as an example. Why did I not heed what was written in so many letters meant to warn me? All I had to do was keep the chain going. I failed Steve Jobs and let down those starving kids in Kenbabwie. I cursed others, and myself, in love and life! Send those letters, child, or forever be plauged by bad luck!

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