Bad Commercials: Beastiality

I saw a commercial for Brute aftershave the other day that really surprised me. It actually took a few seconds for me to realize what had happened. When I did realize what happened, I didn’t know whether to laugh at the absurdity of it, or be disgusted by the implications it presented.

I apologize for the sh*tty video, but I cannot find the original I saw on television, that is the one with the pregnant dog and goldfish. I wonder if maybe people had a problem with beastiality on national television.

Okay, so it is only implied beastiality. Yeah, I get it. Brut is the essence of men, and men impregnate things. However, I just can’t make the leap from him putting on the aftershave to the immaculate conception. I don’t believe in immaculate conception. When I see pregnant people, or animals, I have to assume something sexual has happened, even if I didn’t see it happen. Therefore, the dude had sex with a dog and a goldfish, along with his wife.

Sex. With a goldfish

Unless all three of them decided to use the ol’ “turkey baster”. I don’t think so, though. Look at the look on the guy’s face. He knocked up a dog, and he’s proud of it.

Filthy.

The other reason this commercial kills me, is because goldfish don’t get pregnant. Fertilization takes place outside of the body. Perhaps the essence of man caused the fish to spontaneously ovulate? Whatever. I don’t believe it. That poor fish is hemorrhaging. It is hemorrhaging because a guy had sex with it.

Sex. With a goldfish.

 

 

Advertisements

2 comments on “Bad Commercials: Beastiality

  1. j-man says:

    no wonder you only have 64 followers. this blog consists of bitching, complaining, whining, and more bitching. and you dont even take the super christian conservative side?… the best you have is “fish dont get pregnant”. …yes, we realize, its a joke, and apparently many people find it funny. quit being mad others did things with their lives even if they are somewhat unsavory, theyre obviously making out better than you or i. write something actually interesting or with a point and maybe someone will read it. im only reading it because i was searching for the video because its HILARIOUS(go on google and search it, youll see that obviously im not the only one) and saw this crap. hah. get a life.good god, quit bitching. haha it just makes me laugh, youre such a joke. writing about my little pony and dumbass commercials and their grammar.. yeah youre an artist. i found it ironic that the title to one of your articles is titled “Shut Up Already: You have nothing useful to say.”

  2. revtest says:

    Hello! This is my first visit to your blog! We arre a group of
    volunteers and starting a neew pfoject in a community in the same niche.

    Your blog provided us useful information too work on.
    You have done a marvellkous job!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s