Bad Commercials: Chuck E. needs grammar lessons (and better pizza).

The first commercial I am going to present in an unflattering light is the newest for Chuck E. Cheese’s. Maybe some of you have fond memories of Chuck E. Cheese’s. I think Chuck E. Cheese’s, like communism, was one of those ideas that looked good on paper, but were doomed to turn into something horrible. Every time. Pizza, cartoons and video games were the holy flipping trinity when I was a kid, yet there was always something dirty and shameful about “Chuck’s place”. The robots. The terrible pizza. The screaming children. The beguiled staff, forced to obey the whims of snot-nosed brats and deal with frazzled adults. The robots.

Mostly the robots.

The commercials were always borderline, featuring smarmy pre-teens announcing that they “run this house”. However, this new one really kills me.

Now, a lot of people are upset over the re-imagining of Chuck himself. I find this new version a vast improvement over the long nosed sk8r rat beast I grew up with. This new guy even has some singer’s voice from some popular band call Soup Bowling, or some sh*t. No, it isn’t the new mascot that kills me, it is that this singer, and the guys who came up with the commercial, got paid to use the word “funner” in a sentence.

I hate that “word”.

I know it is a commercial for kids, but I almost think that is even more reason to use proper grammar. I know the time will come when we all use Internet abbreviation to talk over our iPhones, but right now is not that time. We’re still teaching children to speak correctly, or at least trying to, anyway. The word “funner” has no part in this. So, shame on you, commercial writer guys. Just because it is a commercial for kids, doesn’t mean it has to be stupid. They’re smarter than you think, or at least they were.

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