Don’t Ever Haggle with Prostitutes

It just won’t end well. Prices for sex are always final. Anybody who has ever bought services from a prostitute know this. Anybody who isn’t a Secret Service Agent, I guess. Of course, maybe because they were government, and military agents, they thought they might get away with it.

I’m not talking about getting away with hanging out with prostitutes while in possession of itineraries with the whereabouts of the president during his visit to Columbia. I’m not talking about getting away with participating in sex tourism. I’m not even talking about getting away with acting unprofessionally. I’m talking about getting away with stiffing a hooker.

Yes. I wrote that.

Seriously. What in the world would make you think you only have to pay half price because there are two of you and one trick? It’s per person, folks, not per act. You don’t get to split the cost of one gym membership and both go. You can’t split the cost of one movie ticket and both watch. What makes you can’t both split a hooker and then split the cost. If you could, there would be a lot of sore ladies out there on the wrong end of the payday office prostitute pool.

First, you’re secret Secret Service Agents, and/or members of an elite counter terrorism team; you can afford to pay her. Secondly, you are purchasing sex in a country where it is legal to do so, which  means they can get the police involved if you don’t pay full price for the punani. Apparently our highly trained and trusted personnel didn’t think about that.  And believe me, if a prostitute wants her money, believe me, she’s going to get it, because somewhere, there is an angry pimp who is going to beat her ass and/or her children’s asses if she doesn’t get it.

Oh. I guess there is some sh*t about how dangerous and unprofessional it was, too. Something about government officials messing with hookers in the first place, too. That’s all pretty common place, it usually doesn’t put the presidents life in danger.

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One comment on “Don’t Ever Haggle with Prostitutes

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