Everybody working in a restaurant has seen this; instead of leaving a tip, a customer leaves a religious tract telling you where you’re going to go when you die if you don’t accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. While not particularly religious, I suppose a human soul is worth more than a couple of dollars in change, but perhaps you could leave a buck with your generous gift of eternal salvation. I know God works in mysterious ways, but I’m pretty sure he/she/it understands a human needs certain things to continue living in the mortal shell he/she/it has given us, and if God is nearly as omnipotent as people like to say he/she/it is, he/she/it knows we mortals need money to buy these things.
God also knows restaurants in the United States only have to pay wait staff $2.13 an hour, which is known as a “sub-wage”. God also knows restaurants can count tips waitstaff make as the difference between this sub wage and the federal (state, or otherwise) minimum wage. Finally, God knows restaurants are supposedly required to make up the difference (or, in this case, not count tips toward minimum wage) if wait staff does not actually make enough in tips and wages to have made at least minium wage, but often find ways around it, such as “banking” tips.
Yeah, a lot of wait staff “agree” to some of these subversive methods of “making up the difference”, but, of course, God knows they don’t have much of a choice.
Next time I go to a church, I think I’ll leave some kittens slated for euthanization in the offertory box, and maybe drop a puppy in the tithe basket. After all, I think saving puppies and kittens is a pretty damn good cause, and somebody’s got to save them. Besides, plenty of other people will give the church money.