I think I speak for the vast majority of people in this country when I say our choices in presidential candidates are usually lacking. It always comes down to two guys, a republican and a democrat, who probably aren’t that much different. I also think I speak for the vast (silent, if you will) majority of people in this country when I say most people just end up voting for whoever they think with screw up the least, with the least vile past and most benign hidden agendas.
Wouldn’t it be nice to vote for somebody you really believed in?
Well, we here at Bullp*ss, a shining beacon of democracy, want to give people that opportunity. This year, I want people to vote for whoever the hell they think will be the best presidential candidate, regardless of whether they are on the ballot, or even a real person. We’re accepting presidential candidate nominations for this year’s upcoming election, and profiling the best of the bunch. The goal is, come election time, we tell the establishment how we really feel by unanimously writing in a candidate of our choice, nationwide.
Sure. Wouldn’t that be cool, though?
Here is this week’s nomination:
Summary: Fated for an extraordinary life from birth, Leia Organa Solo has played the roles of a princess, a politician, and a warrior. Leia, the daughter of the legendary Anakin Skywalker, was raised by Alderaan royalty, though she always found the role of “princess” constricting. At age 18, she became the youngest senator in the history of the Galactic Empire. Though her service in the government, she developed a distaste for the control, and discriminatory politics of the Empire, eventually siding with the Rebel Alliance. Solo not only aided the resistance politically, but also acted as a courier, a soldier, and commander.
Instrumental in forming the New Republic following the fall of the Galactic Empire, Leia served several terms as Chief of State. Leia also later trained to become a Jedi Knight, following family tradition, a move that would prove useful during the conflicts to come that would threaten the universe she had helped to create.
Why? Leia Organa Solo was essentially raised into politics, and continued being a popular leader throughout her entire career. Solo has never been afraid to voice her own opinion, or to oppose the establishment, often carrying the voices of the disillusioned multitudes to the upper reaches of government.
Solo is also a woman who knows how to get things done. Through politics, coup d’ etat, or the strength of the Force, she isn’t afraid to do the dirty work alongside her people, despite her royal upbringing; something few modern politicians can claim.
Why not? Solo might be a bit too strong of a candidate for the average citizen. It is obvious solo isn’t afraid to take things into her own hands when politicking fails to net her the results she desires, and while many see the actions of the Rebel Alliance as necessary, others do not. Some may also question a president who has participated in a rebellion against her own government, killed her own people, and then took power afterwards.
Also, Solo’s relationship with intergalactic criminal Han Solo, who she would later marry, may come into question, as well as her choice to become a Jedi. After all, there are many that do not understand the Force, believing it to be a bizarre religion, at best, and at worst, the tool of Satan.
We can’t forget the whole slave girl thing, either.
Final Analysis. Overall, her chances look good. Solo most certainly has the credentials of an all-star politician, and she has always remained true to her constituents, who were, by and large, average galactic citizens of all races. She would most undoubtedly win the hearts of the general populace. Do not forget, she would also be the first legitimate female candidate to ever enter the presidential race.
Her participation in the rebellion would be the biggest hurdle for the Solo campaign to overcome, likely facing stiff opposition with conservative groups, and those who are looking for a “safe” candidate. However, her stance on government control might gain her some unlikely allies.
Don’t forget; I am looking for more fictional Presidential candidates. Please submit a few in comments or to firstname.lastname@example.org. There are a few rules:
Try to stick with people/things/animals you would actually want to see elected.
Fictional characters should at least have some personality or back story.
Avoid historical figures. Boring.
No real politicians; living or dead. Way boring.