Tonight, some of you will listen to President Barack Obama give a speech. He’ll talk about stuff. Rumor has it, some of that stuff will be about economic equality. I’m guessing some people are going to agree with what he has to say. I’m guessing some people are going to disagree with what he has to say. I’ll probably fall asleep while reading a Bass Pro Shop catalog.
Before I fall asleep reading a Bass Pro Shop catalog, I want to throw an idea out there. Why do we listen to the President give a speech about the state of the Union? Don’t we already know? Don’t we already know best? After all, he’s never had to live in the same Union we do. I’m guessing few on Capital Hill have. Washington D.C. is kind of a pocket dimension; it exists outside of the Union everybody else knows. I think we should be the ones giving the President the State of the Union Address, not the other way around.
I think instead of a speech, the State of the Union should be a week of public audience with the President, the House, and the Senate. A week of people coming in, and getting a few minutes to tell them what the Union is like elsewhere. To give them ideas. To tell them about hardship. To tell them about triumph. To ask why they’ve done what they’ve done. To ask why they haven’t done what they haven’t done. To give them a real hands-on taste of world outside of the District of Columbia.
I’m just kidding about the Bass Pro Shop catalog. I’m not even going to watch the State of the Union Address. I don’t really care what Obama has to say. I care even less what the paid opinions will have to say for the two hours after. I’m going to play some World of Warcraft, which has about as much bearing on my life as whatever is said during the State of the Union Address.
At least my decisions in that fantasy land doesn’t affect millions of people.
Also, don’t forget; I am writing about fictional Presidential candidates. Please submit a few in comments or to email@example.com. There are a few rules:
Try to stick with people/things/animals you would actually want to see elected.
Fictional characters should at least have some personality or back story.
Avoid historical figures. Boring.
No real politicians; living or dead. Way boring.