Happy Earth Day; Schmucks

I saw stacks of $5 t-shirts with the “recycle, reduce, reuse” slogan  on impulse buy stands at  three different grocery stores yesterday.

What a great way to celebrate Earth Day; a new shirt you’ll wear once, made in a sh*tty  factory overseas with no environmental regulations by  little kids.  The disposable junk pushers have Earth Day pegged for what it really is; a big, hypocritical feel-good festival for people who want to pretend they’re solving a problem.

Yes; squeeze my earth. Oh, God; yes!

Just check out the Oriental Trading Company’s Earth Day selection.  They wouldn’t be selling this crap if people didn’t buy it.

I feel bad for people who think they really are helping, too. Sure, maybe they ride a bike, don’t run the water and stop wearing shoes. So what? Maybe you feel better about doing it, but lets not kid. You’re doing it for you, not the planet or your kids or your kid’s kids.

If we really want to save the Earth, we’ve got two options.

1. Kill off half the population and live in a pre-industrialization world.  We’d probably lose another 1/3 of the population to starvation and other environmental factors, but things would balance out and we’d become a naturally sustainable population again.  A good number of people largely live in a world without most modern amenities anyway.

2. Become Phyrexians and kill off the half of the world’s population who refuse to assimilate. We’ll need their “spare” parts. Sure, we’d strip the world bare to create our bio-mechanical paradise, but nobody would give a sh*t about the ozone layer or smog, because we’d be perfect machines. I think this is what we are supposed to do. I think humans are a terminal species, meant to destroy the Earth.  After all, it is what we are best at, and we’re always begging for “The End Times” anyway.

We want it so bad. Seriously; click that link. Click this link. Click her link.

God made the dinosaurs, and it was good. He got bored and made humans to clean it all up. Little bacterial decomposes.

Do your job. Buy some Earth Day sh*t.

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